Tile patterns, in plain English.

Every tile sits directly above and beside its neighbour, so the grout lines run in continuous straight lines in both directions.

The calmest and most modern of the bonds. It suits large-format tiles with rectified edges, where the grid itself becomes the pattern. Completely unforgiving of an out-of-square room, because every joint is a straight line the eye can check against the ceiling.

Cutting & waste — Low waste, but it demands a flat, true substrate.

Rectangular tiles stood on end and stacked in columns rather than laid on their long edge.

Adds height. In a low-ceilinged bathroom — and plenty of the older housing round Ascot and Winkfield has one — running a metro tile vertically rather than horizontally lifts the room without changing a single material.

Cutting & waste — Low waste. Needs a true vertical set-out or the columns visibly lean.

Each row is offset from the one below it, traditionally by half a tile.

The default for metro and subway tiles, and the most forgiving bond there is: the offset disguises small variations between tiles and small deviations in the wall behind them.

Cutting & waste — Low. The half tile cut off one end usually starts the next row.

The same idea as brick bond, but offset by a third of a tile rather than a half.

The right choice for long planks and large-format slabs. A half offset on a very long tile puts the centre of one tile against the end of its neighbour, which is exactly where a slightly bowed tile shows most; a third offset keeps that difference small.

Cutting & waste — Moderate. The cuts do not recycle as neatly as a half bond.

Square tiles turned through 45 degrees.

Makes a small floor read as wider, because the eye follows the diagonal across the room rather than square to the walls. A classic in halls and small cloakroom floors, and a good way to disguise a room that is not square.

Cutting & waste — Higher — every perimeter tile is a cut, and every one of them is a triangle.

Rectangular tiles laid in interlocking Ls, running square to the walls.

Texture and movement without colour. It works beautifully on a shower wall or a feature panel in a plain tile, where the pattern does all the work. A 2:1 tile interlocks perfectly; anything else needs cutting to make the geometry close.

Cutting & waste — High — the whole perimeter is angled cuts. Order extra.

The same interlocking Ls, but the entire pattern rotated to run at 45 degrees to the room.

Softer and less rigid than straight herringbone, and it hides an out-of-square room rather than advertising it. The set-out is the fiddly part — get the centre line wrong and the pattern never recovers.

Cutting & waste — The highest of the common bonds.

Looks like herringbone at a glance, but the tiles are cut on an angle so the ends meet in a continuous point rather than an L.

Sharper and more formal than herringbone. It needs purpose-made chevron tiles, or a great deal of mitring — not a pattern to improvise on site once the tiles are already in the hall.

Cutting & waste — High, and the tile itself normally costs more.

Small shaped tiles — squares, triangles, hexagons — built up into a repeating border-and-field pattern.

The right floor for a period hall, porch or cloakroom, and there is plenty of that housing stock across Berkshire. Laid from a drawn centre line with the border set first and the field worked into it, because the border is what everybody actually sees.

Cutting & waste — Moderate, but the labour is where the real cost sits.

Long, narrow porcelain planks printed as timber and laid in a staggered bond like a wooden floor.

The warmth of a timber floor with none of the worry about water, so it belongs in bathrooms, kitchens and halls. Lay it to a third bond rather than a half — plank tiles bow very slightly along their length, and a half offset puts that bow exactly where it shows.

Cutting & waste — Moderate. Plan the stagger so no two end joints line up.